In a recent workshop with 50 business people, I did an extremely telling exercise that revealed rather rapidly the gap between the life they are living and the life they want. This is an exercise that I highly recommend you do periodically to spot check how true you are being to your highest values and your purpose. You can do it right now if you have already completed the Prioritize Worksheet to determine your values and written your purpose statement using the Discovering Your Purpose Worksheet in the Member Tools area. If you haven’t done these exercises, I highly recommend doing them before doing anything else. They are non-negotiable building blocks for creating a life of greater meaning and productivity.
First, write down a list of all of the things you think you need to do tomorrow–a good old fashion no holds barred to do list. When you get done pull out your values list and your purpose statement. Look through your to do list and circle any items on it that are a direct reflection of your values. Next, pull out your purpose statement and underline any to do list items that fulfill your life’s purpose.
Your to do list is one reflection of how your life is currently. It isn’t the whole picture, but it can be a pretty telling one. Your values list and purpose statement reflect your ideal life or the life you are striving to achieve. Hopefully, you found some significant overlap between your current life and your ideal image of life. If not, then let’s consider some questions.
Look at any items on your to do list that are not underlined or circled. Why are they there? Some may be there by necessity. For example, may be you have chores to get done like mowing the lawn or paying bills. These are just unavoidable incidental expenses of time that are part of life. Nevertheless, what else is on your list and why?
Do you have any items on your to do list that are only there because you couldn’t say ‘no’ to someone? If so, stop and really ponder why you “couldn’t”. What holds you back? Why do you feel compelled to do these things that are not a reflection of your core values and your purpose? Are you prone to pleasing people at your expense?
I use to have a real problem with that. Someone would call and ask me if I was free on a particular evening? After I admitted I was, then I would get asked to volunteer for something. I almost always said yes if I was free and could help out. I have since learned there is a big difference between “could’ do something and “should” do something.
One way I escaped this time trap was to give myself permission to tell someone, “I can’t help you, I have a prior engagement” and that prior engagement was simply being home with my family. It was at this point that I was allowing my higher values to set my calendar rather than some psychological need to fulfill someone’s else’s expectation.
So what about you? What’s on your list and why? How can you minimize the gap between your life right now and your ideal life?
